I didn’t want it to get out that I had a problem; I was a doctor after all. So I took a bit of a secret route for my treatment. Being in the hospital had given me the quick detox my body needed. Now all I had to do was fight the cravings and not use again.
Narcotics Anonymous was a huge help in that regards. I started going to daily meetings, no matter how exhausted I was after a 12 hour double or 48 hours on call. If I had spare time, I attended a meeting.
I met others like me who never realized they had an addiction until the almost died. It was relieving to know I wasn’t alone in this, and embarrassing to admit I’d ended up like my dad. Except, not quite.
Sure, I’d had an addiction, but I’d never really hurt anyone else other than Lisa, and never physically. I was also stronger than my dad because I was fighting the addiction and fighting for change.
My story isn’t the only one out there like it. Yours isn’t either. I guess just know that you aren’t alone.
Addiction is hard and terrible and can be hidden, even from yourself. If you need rehab, then go. If you need support, then ask for it. Don’t be afraid to get the help you need, because otherwise, you’ll only end up killing yourself.
I hope my story meant something to you, and that I inspired you even a little bit. Thanks for sticking with me through this. I really appreciate it.